Heartache

Why I'm writing this I don't even know. I should really write a book about the whole thing to be honest. It feels like this. Every single night I think of her as I lay in bed waiting to fall asleep. It's typically around 3am and I'm snuggled under the covers (right now it's winter and I have about 200 lbs. of comforters on top me.) I've read for about an hour and a half and the words have begun running together and my eyesight has started to fade. Sleep is upon me. I turn out the bedside lamp, sink into my little womb and embrace my big teddy bear. And I think of her. Every single night I think of her. I wish she were lying next to me. I imagine the way it felt, the way SHE felt. She would have already fallen asleep. She lay there motionless, her angel eyes closed, lips together and creased into the subtlest of smiles. I would sink down beside her, wiggle in, work one arm beneath her neck and the other around her chest. I'd gather her beautiful warm breasts in one hand and pull myself in, my chest against her back, my legs entwined with hers, my cock resting beneath the small of her back, beneath the firm pillows of her gorgeous ass. She'd waken slightly, mumble something unintelligible. I'd sink further in, my bearded face now buried in the softness of her golden hair. She smelled of lilacs. She had the most amazing smell, so seductive and intoxicating. The warmth of our bodies would melt into one. I'd release her breasts with the one hand and run my fingers softly against her skin, up and down her legs and back, all the while breathing in her scent. My cock would begin to grow against her, pressing into the folds of her ass. My hands would study her body, caress every curve, every delicate fold of muscle and skin. Her skin was the smoothest I'd ever touched, as if she were clothed in a thin sheet of silk. She would nuzzle up against me, her mouth opened now, her breath deepening. Still enraptured beneath warm blankets I'd work my way around her body, gently spread her legs. She'd acquiesce to my advances, turn quietly on her back, run her lady-like fingers against my flesh. I'd shift my body down and begin kissing her belly, soft wet kisses with just a lingering hint of tongue. I would have liked to work my way down but she never let me. I always wondered about that fact because we had talked openly about our sexual likes and dislikes and she had shared with me that she loved to be pleased in that way. She had told me that she wanted to "wait" for that. So I wouldn't go down. I'd move my kisses up, tracing a path up her torso, my hands around her sides lifting each breast. I'd run my tongue around the crease beneath each, up the Goddess curves, find the center, the stiff peaks. I'd work my tongue around them. Gently encircle them with my teeth and feel them tighten and stiffen further. Her mouth still in that subtle smile but more open now, her breath deeper and more pronounced. I'd work the shaft of my cock between her quivering folds, feel the moisture against my pulsing flesh. Stroking her in this manner I'd move my attention up to her neck, I'd trace thin lines up her jugular with the moistened tip of my tongue. I'd nibble gently on her ear lobes where hours earlier large silver loops had swung as she laughed. I'd lift myself up onto my arms, my muscles tense and flexing. I'd hold myself up with one arm and lift her head slightly with my free hand. Our mouths would meet and our tongues would softly dance. I'd maneuver the head of my cock so that it rested at the gate, rock hard and pulsing wildly. With the tip I'd fondle her clitoris, push back the folds and wiggle so that I would now be just inside. Wiggling my hips I'd work it slowly in and out of her entrance. Her breath deepening, her fingers clenching my flesh, her head tilted back, her neck long and exposed before me. I'd take the back of her neck in my hand, run my fingers up the back of her scalp, wiggle my hips and plunge headlong into her. She'd gasp and her folds would clench around me, warm as blood, moist, golden, ecstatically inviting. At the bottom of the first descent I'd take her mouth against mine and the dance of our tongues would quicken. I'd feel her thighs against my sides, the silkiness of her legs embracing all of me. My cock would quiver and pulse inside her, her pussy would quiver and pulse around every nerve. We'd rock our bodies back in forth in unison, building up rhythm, keeping time with one another, the heat rising off our bodies now, our skin moistening. The blankets would be pushed aside, her eyes would open and look into mine. We'd become animals. I'd lift myself up on my arms grasping her wrists in each hand, her hair splayed out on the sheets beneath, her breasts bouncing with each thrust. We'd stare into each others eyes, her long lashes would wink and her mouth still creased in that knowing smile. She'd push against me, inching her back on the sheets, begging my cock deeper and deeper as if she wanted me at the very center of her being. Her lips and folds would squeeze deliciously around my cock, juice leaking out, her breath quickening, her eyes taking on the look of ecstatic fear. I'd release her hands, grab her hips, manhandle her. I'd lift her from the sheets, her entire body, my rag doll lover. Staying buried deep inside her I'd turn her onto her stomach, lifting her ass into the air, her back glistening beneath me, her breasts buried in the twisted sheets. I'd order her to toss her hair back. She'd obey, tossing her golden locks onto the arched symmetry of her shoulders and back. I'd gather them in one hand, roll her tresses around my thick fingers. Adeptly I'd tug playfully at the improvised ponytail, lifting her head, arching her neck. I'd order her to work her ass against me. On her hands and knees she'd obey, her sex dripping, the backs of her thighs against mine, her fingers gripping the sheets, her breaths escalating into moans. With my free hand I'd smack the cherry sweet spot of her ass cheeks. We'd talk dirty to one another. The world outside was lost. It never existed. We were the only two people on the earth and we were one. Happy with the bright burning red I'd created on her supple ass I'd work one hand up her side, fondle her swinging tits, all the while swaying in time with the rocking of her body against mine. Her nipples were hard as intricately cut diamonds. I'd pinch them between my fingers, smashing them cruelly. Then I'd take her hips in my hands, my thick fingers wrapping around the artful sculpture of her hip bones. I'd use them as handles, driving the force of my body, my entire being into her sex, into her spirit, into her soul. Her pussy would be dripping, the nectar running down our pressed up thighs. I'd make her beg to come. She'd beg. She'd say anything. I'd tell her to come for me and within a few moments her body would begin to tremble, her breaths and moans exploding into screams. Violently she'd shake, her pussy clenched desperately around my cock. My essence running like sap through my veins. Her fingers would claw the sheets manically as she exploded, coating my cock with heavenly juice. I'd release my juice moments after, groaning and gulping for air. My rod buried deep in her mystery, drenched in her, soaked in her, my large hands still powerfully gripping her hips. Staying inside her I'd acquiesce to the tugging of her arms. I'd sink down beside her, resuming the position we earlier held, the blankets now gone, the cool breeze of the night drifting across our naked and steaming bodies. Our sexes would continue to quiver, continue to run freely with juice. The scent of our sex filled the room with a loving aroma. This and the ever-present lilac of her hair, soft against my skin, each strand tickling the nerve endings of my flesh. In a pool of come we'd fall sleep, our breaths rising and falling together. Her angel eyes closed again in sleep, the curious smile curving sweetly her now unparted lips. My breath against the back of her neck, her tiny fingers grasping mine. We'd sleep.