"Home"

[The not knowing is always the hardest part I think. Catering is fizzling out. I'm looking for a job. Had an interview last week and it looks promising but it's hard to get jazzed about because what it all comes down to is that I don't want to be here anymore. I want to be at The Farm in WV. It just feels like home. It is home. Even when I am not there it is home. And so I've been feeling for a long time that I've just been biding my time until I return. I know it won't be easy. Like my Dad is fond of saying, "If it was easy, everybody would be doing it." But I feel it in my very soul and spirit that is the place where I am meant to be. I know this will sound ridiculously melodramatic but I know it is the place to make my stand, to live my dreams, to finally be at HOME. I can't overstate how much the notion of "home" resonates with me. I've not felt it in sooo long. I have an apartment here in SC, a rental. Like the Dido song goes "If my life is for rent and I don't learn to buy I deserve nothing more than I get cause nothing I have is truly mine." or something like that. I'm ready for a home, a base, a place to plant roots, a place to make a stand. I don't want to do it here. I don't like this place that much. It's fine..I've made my peace with Columbia. For once I won't be running away. I'll be running to. And that makes all the difference.]