Sick

I've been feeling a sickness coming on since this weekend and it's here now. I haven't been sick in several years. Actually the last time I can recall being so sick I had to miss work it was 2007. My head feels like it's going to explode from the pressure, my throat is bitter with mucous and nastiness and my nose is runny and raw. I like to think that I've gotten sick because of her, because my body is excising her out of my system. Although painful it is a pretty amazing thing to remove someone poisonous from your life. It really fucks with your head but it is such a good thing. There are all the inevitable questions of course. Namely: Why? Why did I let myself get grifted again? And the answer to that is actually pretty easy. Because I really want love. And I guess I was willing to try to turn lust into love once again. Live and learn.

I texted one of my cooks this morning and asked him to work today to cover my shift. Although I am the chef I still work a line position every single day I work. Then I went back to sleep. Many times throughout the day I would awaken to one of my phones ringing. I just let it ring. I lay in my bed paralyzed with pain and sickness. It was my boss calling to check on me. Plus she wanted me to put together some menus for a couple of groups we have coming in over the next few months. I finally awoke around 5pm. I woke up in one of those states where you aren't sure what day it is, what time it is, whether the sun is coming up or going down. You're not even sure where the fuck you are. That's how I woke up this afternoon. My neighbor Curt was knocking on my door, checking on me. Said he saw my truck here and wanted to make sure I was okay because he knew I should have been at work. We hung out for a few minutes and then he left. I phoned my boss and checked in with her. The F&B director's step dad is a doctor locally so I'm going to go by his office tomorrow morning to get on anti-biotics and to see about a few other  things. Then I'm going to go to the DMV and get all my car, license, registration, plate bullshit taken care of. Then to the insurance office to sign papers on insurance for the farm and my vehicle. Might as well get all this bs done while I feel like ass anyway, that way I'm not burning up a good feeling day doing a bunch of crap. Ha!

Earlier I went to Wally World and bought Campbell's Chicken Noodle Soup, Saltines, Vitamin Water and Aloe Puffs. Gonna hole up tonight. Hunker down and get better. All the slime and aches and pains I'm going to relish because I know my body is expelling sickness. And pining for a dumb bitch that was only using me was sure as hell sick so I welcome the pain of getting better. Bring it on, bitch. Soon, I'll be back better than ever motherfucker! Peace, The Myth of Matt