Ego deflation on the slopes

Yesterday I went snowboarding for the first time in 3 years. It majorly kicked my out-of-shape ass. Turns out eating cheeseburgers and french fries while sitting on the couch isn't such a great training regimen. Who knew? I've known for quite a while that I've been out of shape. I look at photos of me from several years back (pre-sobriety) and the contrast is telling. I find it ironic that although these past several years have seen me get healthy in other ways I've gotten a lot less healthy physically. When I lived in the mountains of West Virginia, Vermont and New Mexico I was going out daily to play in the mountains. I was extremely active. It wasn't like "working out" at all. It was a lot more like playing. I haven't gotten my play on much since returning to South Carolina almost six years ago. Part of it is the climate, the thick, humid air feels suffocating to me. Another part of it is the geography. I like the wilderness, not just the woods, but WILDERNESS. I like to be alone in the forest hiking, snowshoeing, snowboarding, climbing, etc. I'm not making excuses for being out-of-shape but just stating some of the reasons I haven't been physically active for some time. Then there is also the sex issue. Sex is a great calorie burner. It's pretty much the best exercise ever. I haven't been doing much of that at all either of the past several years. I've met a few nice women and had a few good times but gone are the days where I get down with casual sex. That's another topic for another day. But there it is nonetheless.

I got on the lift at Copper yesterday with my rented board strapped onto my boot and readied myself for the top of the mountain. I was actually concerned that I'd even be able to gracefully exit the lift. What a mind fuck, man. I used to be a ripper of a snowboarder. I'd hit the slopes as often as possible and when there was fresh snow I'd be on one of the first chairs up the mountain in the morning to get my fresh tracks. When the runs had gotten chopped up I'd take my lines into the trees and back country and make my own trails, ripping past pines at lightning speeds and eating up enormous chunks of fresh powder. Not yesterday. No sir. It was like starting all over again in many ways. To my relief I made it off the lift with busting my ass or making a fool of myself. Taking a seat on the edge of the slope to buckle my back boot in I was ashamed at my belly poking out and my lack of limberness at bending over to secure the binding. I was out of breath just getting my gear on. Jesus H. Christ. Pitiful. Adding to my humiliation I was hitting the slopes with my dear friend Norm who is sixty years old and in amazing physical shape. He runs, cycles, stays constantly busy and active. He was having to wait on me to get going. As we descended the mountain I dropped into my turns with insouciant ease save for the weakness of my leg muscles and the gasping of my lungs. I give myself a pass on the lungs thing though. I don't smoke and I live at 300 feet above sea level. I was snowboarding at over 11,000 feet so being short-winded was to be expected at that altitude. I had to stop several times on my way down to catch my breath and allow my leg muscles a break. My feet and calves were completely unused to being inside the snowboarding boots and they burned with pain and discomfort. At the bottom of the slope we met up with Norm's brother who lives in Colorado and is an avid skier. I rode up on my board and clumsily fell down in front of him when once I would have gracefully ridden up and reached down and unbuckled my back boot while still moving. I was out of breath and torched. They both laughed at me and it wounded my ego. We all got on the lift together and rode back up the mountain. Norm said he wanted to go to the very top and his brother said, "Dude, don't take him up there." Jeez, I felt so small. I used to be one of the best rippers on the mountain and now I'm being talked about like I'm a total newb. Humiliating. I tried to explain to him that I was a good snowboarder but I was just really out of shape but it was no use. I couldn't hang. We exited the lift and rode down to another lift that would take us higher on the mountain. At the top of that lift we exited and made our way over to another lift that would take us above the treeline to the exposed and wind-whipped bowls. This lift was a surface tow lift. I've never been up on one of these in my life and was totally unsure of how to do it on a snowboard. The lift operator was a gorgeous cute little snowboarder and she was very sweet to me and tried to explain how it was done. When it came time for me to ride the tow lift I failed miserably and got dragged several feet before letting go of the bar. (Think not letting go of the ski rope while water skiing to get an accurate picture of what this looked like.) The cutie lift operator was really nice to me and said, "Don't feel bad, dude. Nobody makes it their first time." I tried again with the same result. Then I tried it again with the same humiliating results. Keep in mind that this was in front of about 20 people waiting to use the lift. After the third try I gave up, thanked the lift operator and scooted away to descend the mountain. I had brought along a pair of 2-way radios for Norm and I to keep in touch in case we got separated and tried to reach him to no avail. I decided to take my time going down the mountain. Once I was reckless and wild but this day I knew my body was in no shape to be pushed beyond it's capabilities. I had a great time making turns down the slopes and digging into powder that had been pushed up on the sides of the runs. When I got to the bottom of the mountain this time I unstrapped my back boot gracefully as I had done in the past and didn't fall on my ass in front of everyone. I sat down in an Adirondack style chair with the sun shining down and snow blowing around. Again I tried to reach Norm on the radio to no avail. So I just hung out and dug the scene. A couple sitting next to me were taking photos of their small child and I asked if they'd like for me to take a pic of the three of them. I snapped a shot that turned out really, really cute and that hopefully they will enjoy. After waiting for some time for Norm and his brother to appear I decided to go into the locker room to get my phone and give Norm a call. While sitting in the locker room suddenly Norm's brother appeared out of nowhere and laughingly told me that Norm completely ate it at the top of the mountain. Immediately I asked if he was okay and Norm walked around the corner limping. I was concerned for my friend but I also wanted to laugh because of the smack he was talking about me earlier. So we were done skiing and riding for the day and sadly Norm is done for this trip. I'm probably going to do a half day tomorrow (Sunday) but I'm still going to take it easy.

This little adventure has brought home the fact that, living in South Carolina or not, living in the mountains or not, I need to take better care of my body. I'll be 38 in a couple of months and I want to have many more years ahead of me where I can be active and outgoing. Time to make some long-needed changes. Time to put down the cheeseburgers and get up off the damn couch, old man! Hahahaha!