Future Past

Tonight as we were cleaning the kitchen I stopped and said, "Dude, we need some kitchen break down music..." So I went over to the stereo (yes we keep a stereo in the kitchen) and put on a CD. Within moments the kitchen exploded to the sounds of Jane's Addiction. Josh and I worked away on the line scrubbing and wiping down the stainless steel tables, stoves, ovens and grill. Then it hit me. At my very first restaurant job we used to blast Jane's Addiction every single night while breaking down the kitchen. My head went spinning back to the summer of 1991. I had dropped out of college, worked the first part of the summer doing landscaping and towards the end of the summer gotten a job as a prep cook at a local lakeside restaurant where I worked with several friends from high school. I had no idea what I was gonna do with my life, how I was gonna support myself, what direction my life would take, what I would grow up to "be." Frankly I was scared shitless at the thought of all of it. The job was cool because my friend was my boss, we smoked pot at the end of the night and drank beer. We listened to music all night and hung out and joked around with each other. That was good enough for me back then. I made just enough money to buy a quarter ounce of weed when I needed to and to put gas in my car. I was living at home with my parents at the time. I vividly recall sitting out back of the kitchen one day high out of my mind and looking at my feet dangling with water dripping off of my shoes and splashing into a puddle below. I saw my reflection shining back in the broken water and wondered what the hell would happen to me. Most of my friends from high school were in college and pursuing their education. I was getting an education of a different sort. I really wouldn't have imagined that I would grow up to become a chef. I wouldn't be able to fathom the scope and breadth of the experiences I've had as a result of following this career path. I didn't decide to be a chef. I didn't choose it. It chose me. I swear it feels just like that.

So tonight, with nearly 20 years of professional cooking under my apron I was blown away by the symmetry and synchronicity of time and experience. I'm still in the kitchen, still blasting Jane's Addiction, still joking around with my friends but today I am not fearful of the future, and today I make a little more money than just enough to afford a quarter ounce of weed. I've cooked for royalty, heads of state, movie stars, rock stars, famous writers and tens of thousands of regular old common folk like myself. I feed people. That's what I do. It has its ups and downs but it has been one hell of a ride and I wouldn't change a thing.

I've also been thinking of the opportunities that have been laid at my feet over the years. I honestly can't tell you how many executive chef jobs I've turned down. After a while I started wondering why I was turning down all these job offers...I thought to myself, "Dude, this is what you do! Why aren't you taking these jobs??" I know now why I've turned down so many job offers. I really wasn't ready. People seemed to think I was ready but I knew I wasn't. I had sooo much work to do on myself first. Tonight I know I am ready. I know that the stars have aligned and God has guided me up here and that this executive chef job at Pipestem was meant to be. The man whose position I will take worked in that position for 18 YEARS! And then I come along and sixty days later POOF! He's gone and the job is mine for the taking. It's a real headtrip, man. It really is. I'm where I've always wanted to be and now I have a real job that pays good money doing something I love to do. I feel so fucking fortunate and blessed.

Turn up the Jane's bro! It is so fucking on.